She had spent all night with him, by his side, in that uncomfortable chair. She tried to sleep, but her body and mind wouldn’t let her have that peace. No, instead, all that came were tears, and pain. Tears of sadness for seeing him like this, hooked up to all these machines, barely breathing. Pain for what she did, even if she didn’t have any control over herself. She had put the man she loved here, and she would never forgive herself for it. All she wanted was for his eyes to open, and him to look at her and know she didn’t mean this, and for him to be better.
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she wiped at her tear streaked face. In came his doctor, a folder in his hand. He took some vitals before looking at Ewa. “Ma’am, can we speak out in the hall?” Nodding, Ewa got up from the chair, her muscles aching from having not moved all night, and followed the doctor outside. Once there, she looked down at her hands, hoping the doctor had good news. He had to; she knew Phoenix could pull through this.
“As you know, we have been running many tests to see how bad the silver affected him.” Ewa responded with a silent nod to the doctor. “The results just came back from the labs, and…I’m sorry, but he’s not going to be able to breathe on his own again. There was too much damage to his esophagus, and some of the silver from his chest got into his lungs and destroyed parts of it. Now, we know he does not have any immediate family left, but since you have so strongly spoken up about your relationship with him, this is a decision to be left with you. Also, we do believe you should discuss this with the Beta, though please take your time.”
Ewa could barely speak. Somehow, she managed to squeak out a “What decision?” But inside, all she could think was of what she did. She basically killed him, Phoenix was never going to be the same because of her. She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t really her fault, she had no control, but the guilt still made her sick.
“The decision of whether or not to keep him on ventilators. We can wait and hope that the tissue will correct itself due to supernatural healing, but it is very rare. Most likely, he will never be able to breathe on his own. There are options, but they are very expensive and many are only in experimentation stage.” The doctor placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but she couldn’t look at him. She wished there were tears left in her body, but all she felt was dry sobs threatening to burst. “I will give you some time to think about it.” The doctor then turned and walked away, leaving Ewa alone in the hallway. To think.
Her feet brought her back into his room, and her eyes glanced over at him. In the back of her mind, she could hear his voice, reminding her of her promise to him. She didn’t think it would ever come to this, but something inside her told her that this was the moment he was speaking of.
“Can you promise me one thing? If you ever.. find me dying for whatever reason.. and there ‘s no way of saving me..Kill me instead. If I am to die, I’d rather it be by your hands.”
She told him she would. And that she would follow soon after. But only after she did all she could to try and save him. And that’s what she did, she did all she could. The idea of living without Phoenix was just too painful to bear. Ewa kissed him on the head and whispered she would be back. She had to go home, to their home, one last time.
_____________________________________________________________________
About a half an hour later, Ewa was back in the room with Phoenix. He looked so peaceful, but she knew it was only because he was heavily sedated. If he was any bit awake, he would be in so much pain. But Ewa knew he wasn’t going to wake up again. And she was going to do the same.
Ewa had made sure Smoke had enough food and water, and a clean litter bed until someone took him in. And then she grabbed a silver dagger and one of Phoenix’s full bottle of holy water and went back to the hospital. She had to keep her promise, even if she got him in this position; she promised she would do this. One last thing to show she truly loved him, and she would do anything for him.
She locked the door to the room before pulling out the dagger and holy water. Laying, down next to him, tears began to fall down her face as she held him in her arms, never wanting to let go. “I’m so sorry I did this to you. I know it wasn’t my fault, and that’s why this has to be done. I love you so much, and just can’t live without you. You’re my whole life, Phoenix. I promise, I will follow soon after. I’m sorry if you have to wait for me, but I’ll be there. And we can be together, always and forever, like we always said. I love you.” Ewa put her lips to his, and imagined he could feel it, that he heard all her words. Somewhere, she heard him say her loved her too, and that thought calmed her.
With her lips still on his, Ewa plunged the dagger into his heart, the machine’s all instantly screaming at her for what she did. She heard the nurse and doctors start to run outside, and quickly grabbed the bottle of holy water. Drinking all its contents, Ewa instantly felt her mouth, her throat, her lungs, all catch on fire. It was the worst pain she ever felt. But even with all that pain, she still had a smile on her face, because she knew she would finally be truly happy. Just as the doctor finally unlocked the door, life went black, and Ewa was gone. She had collapsed on top of Phoenix’s lifeless body, her hand holding his, just like in some corny movie. Romeo and Juliet. How it was all meant to end.
______________________________________________________________________
She woke up with no pain. No burning, no fire, just…peace. Funny, this isn’t what she thought Hell would be like. She thought she would be stuck in flames, the heat unbearable. Maybe this was the first place she went, before making her trip to the underworld, where Father Below waited for her. But she didn’t want to go alone, she wanted to be with Phoenix. She had promised she would follow him, and now she was here alone. In all the peace she felt in her afterlife, Ewa could still feel the pain and loneliness of being without him.
But then she felt it, or him. It was like he appeared from nowhere, but there he was in front of her, waiting. He looked happy, just as she knew she must have looked. She didn’t even feel her feet moving, but in an instant, she was in front of him, smiling at him. Everything about him was a perfect as ever. Her hands went to his face, to feel if he was real, and the feel of his skin against the palm of her hand told her this was all real. It was true, they were meant to be, she was right all along. Had they not been who would have said they would have found each other like this?
There was no need for words from her part. She had kept her promise, let him die by her hands, and joined him. They didn’t have to worry about people being against them for their different species. They didn’t have a species anymore. No, now they were just Phoenix and Ewa. They weren’t meant to live on Earth the way they had been, Ewa knew that now. Their souls weren’t meant to be separated into two halves; they were supposed to be one. They would always complete each other; always find each other in the end. Ewa embraced Phoenix, mind, body, and soul, and let her love flow into him. This was how they were meant to be, together. “I love you…” Her voice was a whisper in the air, light as a cloud, hanging in front of them, pure truth. She didn’t care what happened after this, whether they were reincarnated on Earth, or sent to hell, or stayed here, in this expanse of nothing. All she knew was she was with Phoenix, her Phoenix. Always and forever. And nothing was ever going to change that.
“Chose your last words, this is the last time….cause you and I…we were born to die.”
ooc: yes, Phoenix and Ewa are now dead. If you have any questions you can contact
meLauren, if you’re wondering what happened.
(Source: ewa-rusczcyk)
Ewa kept her grip on his shoulder firm, her hand pressing the dagger harder against his chest. That voice was telling her she was doing good, doing right, exactly what it wanted. To show him more. And then she felt the satisfied feeling of the voice coming over her. Satisfied, that’s how she felt, or how she was being made to feel, for the pain she was causing him. It didn’t register in her mind how much pain she was causing him. But with her hand against his chest, she could feel his breathing become more ragged, more strangled. He was close to death, just like she was supposed to do, supposed to make him. Show him, bring him close to death, your boyfriend, show him the silver, sho-
In a flash, she was back in her mind. It only took her a second to realize that she wasn’t in the forest with Felix anymore, and instead of black eyes in front of her, Phoenix was there, pain in his eyes and…Ewa quickly back away, trowing the dagger on the other side of the room, ripping the rings off her fingers. What was she doing? Looking back to Phoenix, she saw all the marks, all the corrosion she caused on him. What had happened? She couldn’t have done this, could she? But taking a quick glance around the room and seeing her bag open, her chains on the ground, the dagger she knew was her and her rings…
Turning back, Ewa looked at Phoenix, tears springing to her eyes. Quickly, she ran over to him and took him into her arms, not able to hold in her tears anymore. “What did I do? I’m so sorry…Phoenix….Phoenix, please….answer me!” She said franctically as she tried to move him to their bed. She ran into their bathroom to grab a wet towel and came back, quickly beginning to clean up the wounds, starting with his neck. “Phoenix, please….stay with him…I love you I’m so sorry. It wasn’t me, please…” As the tears fell and she tried to clean up after what she had done, she realized this wasn’t any simple mark she did on him. No, if he didn’t get medical help he was going to die. Fishing for her phone, she quickly dialed 911, just wanting help to come, to fix what she did. How could she do this? Once the call was put in, she turned her attention back to Phoenix. “Phoenix….can you hear me? Baby, please…help is coming…just stay with me…please…” Sobs racked through her body as she stayed by him, just waiting for help to come.
When she pulled back, it was almost too late. He closed his eyes, tempted to just give up and fall asleep, but then she came back to him. The Ewa he loved, not the one who was just trying to kill him. He felt too awful to tell the difference between those two - damn, he could barely tell the difference between black and white.
Phoenix didn’t hear her. He didn’t feel her touch and he didn’t see her cleaning up his wounds. The sheets were already tainted in scarlet and it seemed like a horrible crime scene, the whole scenery. None of what she tried to do seemed to help much. His skin was ruined in so many places and he was losing much blood, and it got harder and harder for him to breathe. So he just stared at nowhere, straight, waiting for something he didn’t know what it was.
He could only hear the sirens and the breaking in before it all went black.
Ewa barely flinched as he pushed her back, her mind not registering what had happened. But a voice in the back of her head told her what she was doing was good, and told her to do more. So she turned to her bag where more silver lie. Her mind told her to put on the rings, the collection she has always had, but never wore anymore because of Phoenix. And the daggers. Take one, show him, make him feel it. But don’t kill him. Just show him.
Turning back to Phoenix, Ewa walked back over to him, and in movements faster than any human could do, she quickly cut open his shirt to expose his chest. Her hand came to his shoulder, the rings on her hand making his skin sizzle yet again, to hold him in place. With the tip of the dagger, she traced shape on his chest, leaving behind a trail of where she touched. In a quick snap, she laid the dagger against his chest, so it was flat against his skin. “Don’t move,” she spoke, not controlling her own words. “We don’t want you dead. Just show him.” Her words didn’t make sense, but her hand kept a firm grip on his shoulder as she kept the dagger pressed against his chest.
He couldn’t stop debating himself on the bed, but he barely could control his body anymore. The pain was blinding and his mind was blurry, black with red drops everywhere. If Phoenix ever felt so bad, he couldn’t remember it. Even his strength, which he prided himself so much, wasn’t enough to make him do something about it. His neck was destroyed, but just as he managed to breathe properly - once, no more than twice, before his muscles started to hurt unbearably again - she came back. He couldn’t think of her as Ewa. He couldn’t think at all.
His eyes widened as she cut his shirt and teased him with the tip of the silver dagger. It didn’t occur to him that he had done the same movements hundreds of times. Not with silver daggers and not with his girlfriends, but he did. Slowly cutting and marking and hurting their chest, speaking softly and looking at them expressionless - no, not expressionless, maniac and insane - and holding their shoulder firmly. But as she held his shoulder the skin was eating itself up, not leaving bruises like when he did it, and the same happened as she held the dagger on his bare chest. If he ever had any hope of breathing again, it was gone now. He didn’t process her words properly and felt himself close to passing out. It was simply too much at once - and, why not say it? She made him vulnerable.
If anyone was to walk by her right now, they would wonder what was wrong. There was no life in her eyes, her face like a dolls, her movements controlled by an unseen force. But there was a force controlling her. Felix. His mind was in hers, having taken over, grabbed a hold of her every thought and changed it to what he wanted it to be, what he wanted her to do. Silver, show him, bring him close to death, show him a demon’s fury. Show him, show him.
The thoughts swirled in her mind, like a paint brush on a white canvas. Her mind was blank and Felix was doing with it as he wished. His brush wrote words that controlled her movements, her wants, her actions, everything. Ewa would break from this spell and remember how much she hated having her mind controlled, all the times her parents did it when she got in trouble. But at this moment in time, her mind only consisted of a few thoughts. And those thoughts led her int he direction of her home.
Once she finally reached her house, her feet blistered and hurting from the long walk, but her mind not registering the pain, she entered and headed straight to where she kept her black bag. The bag with the silver. What she had to show her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. Show him, show him. Bring him to death, to death. But don’t let him die. Don’t, just hurt, just show.
With the bag around her shoulder, she walked towards their bedroom, her mind focused on one thing. As she entered the room, Phoenix stood before her. “Boyfriend.” She said, looking at him with dead eye. Ewa dropped the bag on the ground, almost having it land on Smoke, and not even blinking an eye at it. Reaching in, she pulled out a few chains, ignoring the cuts being formed on her own hands as they ran against the sharp daggers. “Show him.” She said to herself as she stepped forward, closer to him, holding the chains out in front, the silver links making faint noises as the hit together. Ewa walked closer and closer to him until she was right in front of him. “Look.” She said softly as she pressed the chains to his neck, feeling his skin sizzle underneath, not even knowing what she was doing to the man she loved.
He grunted to no one specific as he grabbed a shirt and put it on quickly. It was tiring, the whole day had been tiring. He could easily blame the full moon, but it was not just it. Last month had more repercussion than Phoenix originally thought, and even though it wasn’t his fault at all, people were still scared. Some blamed it on him, or so he thought. Maybe he was just being paranoid. But the lack of trust upset him. Though, if he stopped to think about it, he wouldn’t trust himself either.
Breathing heavily, Phoenix stared at the mirror in the other side of the room. Ewa had put it there, not him. She had put a lot of things in his room - their room, he sometimes had to remind himself. It was cool, he liked it. But there was still a little part of him that wished he didn’t have to share it all; and that was pretty ridiculous, since he was the one who suggested she moved in in the first place. Before, his place - which wasn’t even entirely his, but he acted as if it was anyway - had a more manly, messy look, except for everything that Lindsey cleaned up. Now..
Smoke walked around his legs, purring and asking for attention. He sighed. Yes, the house also was entirely made of wolves, not demons and kittens. He held the cat and sat on the bed before he could go any more deeper in the analysis of how things had changed. No, Phoenix Chambers didn’t overanalyse things. He also didn’t stare poetically at mirrors. He walked around the house shirtless eating and drinking and being irresponsible. Or he used to. Ewa had managed to change even changed. Inadvertently, but she did.
The door opened and he turned to look, getting up to make sure it was Ewa who had just got in. He got a glimpse of her dark hair and relaxed. Why did she leave again? Meredith, that’s right. He got back to petting Smoke, wondering if he should or shouldn’t talk about all his internal struggles with her. No, she probably would laugh at him. He shrugged it off.
It was only as she entered the room that he noticed something was wrong.
He stood up again, now his muscles tense. That wasn’t her normal expression, and she most definitely didn’t usually walk around with a black bag over her shoulders. Phoenix had never seen Ewa being mind controlled, and it took him a few moments to register her face. His eyes lowered to the silver she was holding. “Ewa, what..?” he started to say before realising she wasn’t in her right mind. He stepped back, fear starting to grow inside of him. Soon there was not enough room for him to step back and the silver chain was trapping him. His neck was rigid and he attempted to push her away, but the failed attempt to breathe was holding him back. Then it started. The pain.
He couldn’t breathe. It was a great choice, the neck. He couldn’t even fill his lungs with enough fresh air to scream properly, each movement only hurting him more. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough. No, better yet, it was too much. Finally he managed to regain control of his arms and push her a few meters away, the tears of pain running down his face and his hands instinctively rushing to the bleeding wound. He fell to the bed, not even getting enough time to process the whole thing. His mind was too fulfilled with pain for him to think. It was Ewa. Ewa. Ewa, who he loved, Ewa, who he marked, Ewa, who he trusted. And who seemed determined to hurt him in way more brutal ways than they had ever planned.
No…ew, I would never let an Angel into this house. That’s just…not ok.
Ah. Good.
(Source: phoenix-chambers)
Maxwell. -rolls eyes- Fucking annoying little shit. Wouldn’t let me walk on my own. I mean, sure I had no idea where he found me but I could have found my way back.
Uh huh, sure you could. -shakes head- Anything else happened?
Nope. Got dragged home then I went to bed. Smoke was acting weird all night too, so I didn’t even get to play with him.
Did Maxwell stay here with you?
No. You don’t.
Well then; what is it? Is it pissed?
Are we really going to play a guessing game? Really?
Maxwell. -rolls eyes- Fucking annoying little shit. Wouldn’t let me walk on my own. I mean, sure I had no idea where he found me but I could have found my way back.
Uh huh, sure you could. -shakes head- Anything else happened?
(Source: phoenix-chambers)
And can you, like, please not talk loud? My head’s still all wonky. -sighs- So how was it?
I’m not even saying anything. -sighs- How much did you drink?
Ummm. -laughs awkwardly- Enough to let an Angel carry me home when I decided tot go dancing in the streets.
-stares- Oh really? What angel again?
